Florene "Billie" Genevieve Berset Ausman

christmas eve my beautiful, strong, independent, wise granny billie passed away. we knew this was coming... she had been knocking on heavens door for a few weeks but no matter how prepared you are for someone to pass on, you aren't. it broke my heart. christmas is a bad time for someone to die, especially for the loved ones left behind but i guess granny wanted to be home for christmas, and i can't say i blame her. her welcome wagon to heaven was full of people who loved her. i faked my way through christmas and new years, putting on a happy smile for my kids but inside i was so numb.

i loved my grandma billie, i always felt like i was her granddaughter. i knew who i was, because i knew who she was. its funny because as a young child she scared me, but as an young woman and adult she inspired me. my granny did not have an easy life, EVER. she faced trials in childhood, in her teenage years, as a young adult, as a mother, and as a grandmother. her life story kind of breaks my heart. that being said, you would never ever know that her life had been hard if you had met her. she was always positive, always hard working, always calm and always happy. granny came from good "stock"... the woman she came from, the 5 sisters she grew with, the 3 daughters she bore, and it seems we granddaughters are lucky enough to come from that same stock. the berest woman sock are STRONG women and my grandma was no different, she was the center of it... and a word to wise, don't cross those women when it comes to their kids!

i'll miss so much about my granny billie. her sayings {oh ish, ooftah, oh lordy, for pitys sake, and how she said my name "kenner"},  her signature hand motions, those piercing blue eyes, her love for my jude {her favorite boy ever}, her love of sports, the calmness around her, her smell, her stories & the gossip, her sleeping in an armchair, and her beautiful hands. the spot in heart where she belongs is empty and it cannot be filled, she was a part of me. i miss her. i know because of my faith, that i will see her again and i know she is in a far better place and that she is happy. i can only imagine her reunion with her father who she lost at age 8 and with her best friend and sister katie who was shot and killed by her own husband in her 20's. knowing all of this, makes her loss a little easier but i am still so sad that she is gone. 

i got to spend a lot of time with her while she was here in utah the past year and a half. i will cherish those times always. i only wish i had spent more time, no time with her was ever enough.... i just don't think i realized it then. i was also so lucky to be there after she passed and those memories too are so precious to me, words cannot express. i was lucky all around, to be hers.

rest in peace, my beautiful mother of my mother.

grannie with 2 of her 5 sisters.

a happy grandma billie and my grandpa don

 

a young mother

granny billie and her kids

always, always playing golf. 

her one true passion!

basking in the sun with her cup hot decaf.

granny billie and her boyfriend jude (her words, not mine)

the last time the remaining berset sisters were together, happiness everywhere.

grandma and my beautiful mother, her care taker the past 18 months.

i will miss you and love you and remember you forever.

thank you for being ours.

read her obituary here