she is 4.

4 years ago today an angel was born, 

our angel, 

miss greta pamela.

 this birthday seems more special than her others, i feel more grateful for her today than ever before. i haven't blogged about this yet, but a few weeks ago we had another big scare with our angel girl. 

we took her in for her yearly check up with her neurologist, dr. filloux... which really it had been 2 years since her last check up. things last year were hectic with a newborn and i wanted a break from specialists, so we took a year off. anyway, we took her in and were so excited to show dr. filloux her progress. greta has made leaps and bounds in the past 2 years. yes, they are are slow leaps and bounds, but for her, they are huge. dr. filloux played with greta and had her to "games" for about 30 minutes, and seemed pleased with greta's progress. at the end of the appointment we discussed future plans/tests for greta, and he told us he would like to test her again for the disease ataxia telangiectasia, have another MRI done, ordered follow up with her opthomologist, and if everything came back a-okay he'd see us at her next annual check up. we left with a blood test order form and a smile on all of our faces.

the blood work was a breeze, greta was easily distracted and just happy to be on my lap with her daddie by her side. as we were driving home we were remembering about those 4 l-o-n-g days when we thought greta had A-T. we both sighed and thought "he's crazy for testing her for that disease again, she DOESN'T have that disease..... right?!?!". so i do what i do best, i got my butt on the internet at started researching. that's when it all started again... could she have this horrific disease? lets see here....

the symptoms for ataxia telangiectasia

delayed walking (greta was 27 mo.) - check

ataxia (jittery movement) - check

slurred speech - check

slowed growth - check

abnormal eye movement - check

weakened immune system - check

balance problems - check

normal/above average intelligence - check

 family history of cancer

telangiectasia's (broken blood vessels in the eyes)

did you notice anything? greta has 80% of the symptoms of A-T. the last time she was tested for this disease she was 10 months old, and we couldn't tell what symptoms she had then, she was just an infant. now that she is older, so much more had manifested itself in her. i now knew why dr. filloux seemed a little off in telling us he wanted to have her tested again, she obviously presented so many of the symptoms. here comes the freak out... i sobbed, and sobbed, and prayed, and sobbed, and pleaded, and sobbed. trevan and i both did lived that nightmare all over again. how could this be happening again? all i could think was "at least we had 3 years of living happily.". as trevan and i went to kiss our kids goodnight after they were asleep we both knelt by her bed and watched her sleep, and wept. not again....

the wagons were circled, and all of our loved ones prayed with us. we had a family fast planned for next day, when i received the second best phone call of my life. dr. filloux, knowing our stress level put a rush on her test results, and we found out that greta DOES NOT have A-T. dr. filloux reiterated what a great news this was and that he was thrilled to hear this. i wonder if he was as surprised as we were? i was certain that this was our fate. i put my trust in the lord and plead for a miracle, but surely we could not be so blessed twice. however, the lord has a plan for me, a plan for greta, and a plan for our family and ataxia telangiectastia is not apart of it. i have said this before, and i have will say it again... i don't care what greta "has", as long as i get to keep her, my angel girl.

we are never out of the woods with greta, there are always seems to be more tests to run and more doctors to see. i also know, we are never out of the woods, so to speak, with anything in this life. we just have to take it ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME. and be grateful for everyday we get to spend with each other. 

i know this.

at 4 our angel girl walks, runs, talks, plays, laughs, dances, jokes, loves, and lives.


greta is funny... so funny, she loves to be gross, she loves PINK, she eats a lot, she loves any sort of affection, she is teeny tiny, she loves to look at books, she is enthusiastic about anything, she loves school, she is always dancing, she has a crush on justin bieber, she'll play on the computer all day if you let her, and she can sniff an iPhone out a mile away.

 she is perfect.

 happy 4th birthday gretsie!

{ brooke has outdone herself yet again. xo }

* ATAXIA-TELANGIECTASIA IS A TERRIBLE, TERMINAL DISEASE THAT EFFECTS APPROX, 500 CHILDREN IN THE U.S. IT IS CONSIDERED AN "ORPHAN DISEASE" AND DOES NOT GET THE FUNDING AND RESEARCH IT NEEDS CURE THIS DISEASE. PLEASE, IF YOU CAN, DONATE TO HELP THE FIND THE CURE and SAVE THESE SWEET BABIES. YOU CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE.