a binki story

last week after hearing a horror story of a 15 year old that still took a binki from my friend at work i came home bound and determined to rid jude of his best friend, his bink. it has been a long journey for us to get here. jude's binki has been with him since day one, it has seen him through 10 surgeries, one 3rd degree burn, many ear infections, one little sister, and a lot of hard times. his binki was his favorite source of comfort and i didn't want to be the one to take that comfort away from him.

we had tried everything (and i mean everything) to get rid of his binki but jude still wanted and got that damn pacifier. if you haven't met jude than you may not know how determined he is, he gets his way most of the time. i knew that it was past the point of just taking it away and that it would have to be his decision to be done with it. we had numerous conversations about how binki's were for babies, how it was ruining his teeth, and how we would reward him greatly for giving it up but he was not ready. yet for some reason last monday after i came home from work he was ready. i took him up to bed with me while trevan was tying some flies and he laid there with me, we read stories and snuggled and then he asked where his binki was and i told him dad would bring it up. he nodded off on my shoulder and slept soundly without his bink even as he was transfered to his own bed. when jude woke up in the morning he was shocked that he had slept without it and he made up his little mind right then and there that he was done with binki's. he snuck one of gretsie's later on that night but quickly noticed his crime and threw it across the room and hasn't had one sense. its been a week and i am proud to say that jude is finally binki free. i am beyond proud of him.

i'm not quite sure how we got here. my sweet baby judakins is no longer my baby. he's a big boy now, and don't try to tell him other wise. in very short 3.75 years we have left bottles, cribs, onesies, diapers, chubbiness, and binki's far behind in babyland. the only piece of babyhood that jude has left is one tattered and torn blanket that i am totally fine with him having for the rest of his life (i have mine after all). i don't know where the time has gone. in two weeks time my firstborn will head off to pre-school and he will start to learn and grow without me by his side. he will start his independence. it's all a little too much for me to handle and i think i wish that i could start all over again.

stop, just let time stop.

just for a minute (or forever).