a life less ordinary

after a crazy lunch with brookie at mcdonalds and a frantic target run (jude disappeared at target and they calling a code adam, only to find him 15 min. later with transformer in tow wondering why mommie was crying) i realized i have no business leaving the house with my 2 children, much less with brooke's babies as well. we went from being sisters having fun to mom's trying to have fun with crazy children on the loose (ie. jude and mimsi). needless to say, i am not anxious to leave my house with the children without my husband anyone time soon.

i am not quite sure how i got here. did i really sign up for this life? trevan and i fell in love so quickly and we loved each other almost too much and got married 2 years later. very soon after we were married i had the crazy idea that we should try for a baby (much sooner than trevan signed up for i might add) and 9 months later our sweet baby boy was born. it was a happy 18 months with just us and jude, pretending to be a family. it was kind of like playing house but better because it was real. after about 18 months we had an even crazier idea that we should add another little creation to the mix and after some heartache we got our daughter, the prets. she was a heartache of her own but a delight none the less. fast forward to 16 months later and here i am.

we are still in love but we are SO not playing house anymore. it is all to real to be pretend. the worst part is, our kids think we know what we are doing. i feel as though i have no idea what i am doing, and in all reality i do not. jude is really hard sometimes, harder than i ever imagined. i wonder as he sleeps so beautifully in his bed at night how i could ever be that mad at him, how i could ever spank his cute little butt, or how i could ever want to literally sell him back to the gypsies that i am so positive he came from. i wonder how i ever became okay with changing diarrhea diapers day in and day out and wiping man poop off of a 3 year old bum? how did i go from sleeping in to waking up at dawn to my adoring children's faces(and being okay with it)? how did i get to a point in my relationship with trevan that he became my husband, you know the kind you fight with? how did i become knowledgeable about tantrums, diaper rashes, teething, birthmarks, developmental milestones, and neurological disorders? when did i start caring about bills and how they would get paid? how did i become a professional 'transformer' transformer? did i really sign up for all of this?

the answer is yes, yes i did sign up for all of this. i may have not read the fine print but i am glad i didn't. because with all the heartache, fighting, and turmoil that has taken place there is this beautiful thing that has become my life and though it feels so ordinary its not, its so not ordinary because it is my life. its very unique and special. i am responsible for the outcome of this little family that i have been entrusted with. this life of mine is not quite the one i imagined or dreamed for...... its better because its real. i have experienced the highs and low and all the in between's. i have lived them. those experiences have shaped me into a much more patient, loving, wiser, and confident person than i ever thought i would be. this whole married life/mothering thing is the best thing that ever happened to me. its has brought out the real me, the one my lord intended me to be. i love my life. i am lucky lucky lucky to have it. i can only hope i am just doing it right.

i have to go now, jude is yelling at me to come wipe his bum.

p.s. who had the bright idea to give children babies?