ezra: his birth story (part 1)

ezra is 2 weeks old and i think i am to the point that i can talk about his birth. brooke gave me these pictures a few days ago and it was the first time i had seen them. the first time i thought about his birth. i cried really hard, this birthing experience was not a good one and although it was only 2 weeks ago it feels like a lifetime ago, or maybe even a dream.

this being my first scheduled c-section i had great hopes of everything going smoothly. with jude i labored for 14 hours and then had to have a c-section and with greta i tried a v-bac and after 12 hours of labor had another c-section. this time around, although my doctor still wanted me to try another v-bac, i decided to just schedule a c-section. i had heard how much better c-sections were when scheduled, so on wednesday february 2nd @ 5:15 am...i brought my A game. turns out, my A game included wearing the new surgical hospital gowns called "bair paws", the best worst invention ever. the best part being how it keeps you warm and toasty pre and post surgery. the worst part, being 9 months pregnant and having the inflatable gown make you look 100 lbs bigger. either way, trevan and i were very excited for the birth of our 3rd child, a son. we all giggled and laughed as the were prepping me for surgery. brooke and my mom were there to wait in the hall and hear his first cry from the operating room. everything felt perfect.

ezra roger gregory was born @ 7:02 am 2/2/11. he weighed 7.1 lbs and measured 19 1/2 inches long. his first cry was loud and perfect, music to my ears. trevan confirmed to me that he was indeed boy and the doctor's marveled at the length of his umbilical cord and the fact that there was a true knot in his cord, not something they see very often. for those few seconds, life seemed perfect.... and seconds they were. sometime in the first few minutes ezra stopped breathing and when he started breathing again it was very labored. the NICU team was called into the operating room and within a few minutes ezra was whisked away with his daddie following suit. as they were leaving, the respiratory therapist assured me this breathing issue was normal for c-section babies and that by the time i was out of recovery baby boy would be back in my arms. i nodded and hoped he was right.

the bummer about c-sections is that you have to stay in recovery for an hour after you are finished. trevan was with ezra and i sent my mom and brooke down to see what was going on and keep me in the loop. it was a long hour but thanks to serious pain meds, i don't remember much. trevan came up a bit later and told me that he was still having trouble breathing and that they were putting him on CPAP but trevan didn't seem worried so i wasn't either. apparently c-section babies that don't go through any sort of labor don't get their lungs properly "squished" so sometimes they don't get all the fluid out, which leads to breathing issues like low saturation levels and labored breathing. my nephew gilbert had similar problems when he was born so i sort of knew what was going on. still, i was not too worried. i just needed to get out of recovery so i could see my baby. trevan went back down stairs to be with ez and i sent nannie and brooke to get some breakfast. once i was through "recovering", i was ready to be taken downstairs, i asked to be wheeled by the nursery so i could see my baby. as we cruised by and i saw my baby on CPAP and 6 people surrounding him with furrowed brows i knew then that it was time to be worried.

shortly after i was in my room, the on-call pediatrician (not the one i had requested) came in to give me an update. ezra was not improving as they expected, they had taken an x-ray of his chest and there was still some fluid in his lungs. they had also had some blood work done to test if he had in infection like pneumonia. the pediatrician and been in touch with the neo-natologist at UVMC and it had been decided that ezra probably needed to be transported to a different hospital with a higher level NICU because they were afraid that ezra was going to need to be on something stronger than CPAP, a ventilator. in the mean time, he needed my permission to inject surfactin into ezra's lungs to see if he got any better. once the surfractin was dosed, ezra had 3 hours to get on the ball or he would be transferred.

well, with the thought of my baby leaving the hospital without me i was on my nurses to get me into a wheelchair so i could go see my baby. my nurse was very hesitant to let me get up an hour after my surgery but no one can say no to a hysterical new mom. getting into the wheelchair nearly killed me but i had to see my baby. it's funny how that mother bear instinct kicks in without even knowing your baby. i saw him and touched him and loved him and cried. this was not how things were suppose to go this time... EVERYONE told me this was going to be my chance at perfect.

at this point my kids arrived at the hospital to meet their new baby brother. as they looked in on their baby brother through the glass i could see the love in their eyes, jude especially. he has waited for his best friend to come meet him on earth for 5 years. yaya was sick so rog and brennan were there to meet ezzie too. i was so thankful they were there at that time because ezra needed a priesthood blessing. we hadn't named him until then either and i looked out the window at my mom and brooke and mouthed to them our choices of heath and ezra and the both nodded to ezra. i looked at trevan and he agreed, so ezra roger gregory it was. trevan, roger, and brennan gave him a priesthood blessing as i held ezra's hand and there was a sweet feeling of peace that came over me. i am so grateful for a worthy husband and for the power of the Melchizedek priesthood. oh, and i love my in-laws too... ezra is lucky to be named after a man like his grandpa roger.

after about an hour on the surfractin it was decided that ezra was not improving so the transport team was called and ezra would be transferred to a IMC's NICU. at that point, we all sort of freaked. i begged and pleaded to hold my baby and the charge nurse in the NICU agreed(remember no one can say no to a hysterical new mother) and it was my best moment of this entire experience. feeling ezra up against my chest for those few minutes were the best thing that ever happened to me. the nurses took him back and my nurse told me i had to go back to my room. i went back and laid and waited for the transport team to bring my little guy to see me before he was taken away. it was a very emotional moment when they brought him in. i don't think i have ever felt like that before. the transport team was nice enough to let me touch him for a bit and they let my kids touch him too. jude and greta sobbed as the wheeled him away. it was too much for all of us to handle. i can't even talk about it. i felt like my baby had died.

everyone left after that. trevan followed ezra in the ambulance up to salt lake. my kids had seen to much for their little brains to comprehend and left with the gregory's. it was dustin's birthday and brooke went to be with him. my mom needed to run an errand and told me to rest until she would be back. the room was silent and miserable...i was all alone, and it was the worst. i couldn't rest, i was too scared for ezra. it all was suppose to be different but that's what i get for planning on normal. i'm not trying to be a 'debbie downer', it's just the way things played out. i honestly don't know how people do things much harder than this with preemies and other more serious complications. i can't fathom it.

the next few days i was busy trying to recover so i could get our early to see my baby. they were rough days too... another priesthood blessing for me from my dad eased the pain a bit but it was hard. trevan was busy running back and forth between hospitals and my mom was busy taking care of my 2 kids and shuttling them to me for snuggles. things got better... they always do.

bair paws... enough said.

me and dr. parker, my favorite doctor.

welcome to the world.

knotted cord. tmi?

mommie meets baby

brother bear and sister bear meet baby bear

a blessing.

first hold.

baby feet.

ready to go.

much needed snuggles.

stay tuned for the happy ending.